On Tilt
in Giggles on June 21, 2023
If you’ve been following my life as of recent weeks and months, or you are a faithful reader of my ramblings, then you know my oldest child is newly married.
For the final days leading up to the Blessed Event—my perspective on the whole situation closely resembled that of George Banks, a fictional character in the 90’s classic movie, Father of the Bride. My mind and scheduled swirled relentlessly around wedding-everything:
The guest list.
The entertainment.
The Rehearsal Dinner.
The bar.
The out-of-town guests—both friends and family.
The list goes on and on.
Our house alone was ground zero for the lion’s share of the Out Of Towners (coincidentally, another of Steve Martin’s movies). It had been a year to the day Jeff and I moved into our new house that the family began their descent upon us. We quartered his parents, my parents, my three sisters, my three YOUNG nieces, our own three children (complete with two of the three’s significant others, the Pastor and his wife, AND three extra dogs. Please take a moment to process all of those extra bodies just hanging around the house.
We also hosted the Rehearsal Dinner at our house, the night before the wedding; which also meant, the entire GROOM’S SIDE of the wedding party crashed at the house for the night as well. My house effectively turned into a European hostel. On that Thursday night, we had a grand total of TWENTY-NINE people on the property.
TWENTY-NINE.
Oh, did I mention that my parents’ accommodations were OUTSIDE, under the carport, on the driveway, tucked away in their RV. We had a real-life Cousin Eddie situation.
Needless to say, my barometer for dealing with social settings and people in general was rapidly approaching a maximum-capacity-off-the-charts-nuclear-core-meltdown.
I’m happy to announce that I managed to keep my wits about me through the wedding, and even through the couple of days following the wedding; even though we still had an unusually healthy flow of people in and out of the house. Obviously the folks staying at my house were not often at my house; therefore, many of the locals wanted to come and hang out. We happily welcomed old family friends, more relatives from just outside of town, and friends and relatives from down the street.
On any given day, I am delighted to open the house to any and all folks. I grew up with parents in the restaurant business, so entertaining is second nature to me. I thoroughly enjoy planned parties and impromptu get togethers. And, I thoroughly enjoyed every single person that was at my house during that week.
However.
As Jeff and I said our good-byes to almost everyone Sunday afternoon, I collapsed on the couch: Not willing or even able to move or think. I was physically and emotionally tapped. I have never wined and dined and received quite so many people all at once, and then there was the little matter of the wedding honoring the bride and groom and roughly two-hundred and twenty of their closest friends. Can you blame me for being tired?
My parents, sisters, nieces, Pastor, and all other stragglers departed early Sunday afternoon. Jeff’s parents would be with us until Tuesday, with the exception of an overnight visit to one of their local relatives. In short, on Sunday evening, Jeff and I had the house to ourselves.
By Monday, I was slightly cognizant of the fact that my in-laws would soon be returning, and we would have some uninterrupted time with them before their Tuesday afternoon flight. My sweet husband kept his dad busy outside fiddling with pool equipment and “checking the perimeter” or whatever else boys do, while my mother-in-law and I settled in on the couch for a movie.
As we neared the final ten minutes of our movie, the sun was nearing the end of its journey for the day, and I was (im)patiently watching the clock push its hand closer to my bedtime, as the garage door opened, and in walked my unsuspecting brother-and-sister-in-law.
With one cheerful greeting of, “Hello!” I lost my dignity and probably my religion, as words worthy of my truck-driving-sailor father flew uncontrollably and unfiltered from my mouth. The most notable was the “ARE YOU F—ING KIDDING ME?!!”, which was directed at my absolutely stunned husband.
My sister-in-law simply started bellowing with laughter, as she wheezed out, “I told you BOTH this was a horrible idea.”
I quickly assured them that this was most definitely a ME problem, and had nothing to do with them. I then excused myself, picked up my phone, went into my closet, called my dear friend and jaggedly, ugly cried my exhaustion and frustration to her, in a thin attempt to calm myself down.
After several minutes of her soothing voice, I emerged from my closet with red, puffy eyes, a glued on smile, and prepared to meet my guests. I hugged them both, apologized for my outburst, and we had a lovely visit.
Two days later, my highly intelligent husband was still one-hundred percent clueless about why in the world I reacted with a Chernobyl level vibe. He was genuinely gobsmacked by my reaction. He looked at me without guile and in true sincerity, said:
“How was I supposed to know that you were on tilt?”
On Tilt.
The term made me giggle in spite of my still raw emotions. To be on tilt, means to be triggered or to be infuriated in some way, a way that is usually irrational. It is most commonly heard around the poker table to describe a potentially reckless manner in which a player bets and plays his hand. A player operating on tilt, most often does so at their own expense…quite literally, as hotheaded betting and foolhardy confidence that the next card will be the right card, generally leads to their ruin.
Yes. That Monday, I was most-assuredly operating recklessly and hotheadedly. I had reached the proverbial end of my hospitality rope. Here we are, some two weeks later, and I’m still not completely sure that I’ve fully recovered. Perhaps I need a vacation or a nap. Hopefully before too long, I’ll be back to my perky and friendly people loving self. But, until then, I’ll content myself with skulking around my house behind locked doors and drawn shades and hiding out in libraries.
Have a great week.
One thought on “On Tilt”
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Linda says:
You were an exemplary hostess the entire time we were there and we all appreciated your amazing hospitality!! This commentary was right on and hilarious! Thank you for reminding us it’s okay to be human! You are special and a great writer. I can’t wait to read what’s next!