The Handbook
in Giggles on September 6, 2020
I’ve known for quite some time that my daughter was fearless…I’ve recently come to the comforting realization that she is also relentless and fierce.
Granted, for a while I thought I might need to have her tested on a psychopathic level…it’s not that I think she’s gonna snap and kill all of us in our sleep, or anything like that, although, now that I really think about it—maybe I should be more concerned.
Just kidding.
It’s just that while she IS fierce and fearless, what triggered my thought process is her love of horror movies. That’s where the psycho part comes in.
Nothing phases this girl.
She watches awful movies like The Nun, The Conjuring, Sinister, and Mara. Incidentally, the only film on that list that even remotely sent a chill down her spine was Mara—and she’s watched it three times.
So, as she’s traveling down this terrifying road of Hollywood horror, I thought I’d introduce to her some vintage fright fests. I’m not talking about slasher flicks—those are lame—I was aiming for the truly soul shaking: Silence of the Lambs, type of scary.
She didn’t even blink.
Hannibal Lecter did not haunt her nightmares or even slink around the corners of her daytime jaunts into town.
Weirdo.
So, then I made her watch a different kind of scary movie…a movie that is almost thirty years old, and shakes me to my core to this day…Sleeping With The Enemy.
Now, I read the book when I was in high school. I had no idea that while I was reading it, I was virtually reading a play-by-play for all the psychopaths of the dating world.
I sat my kiddo down, and spilled some hard-core truth about real life villains. I’m going to pass that on to you now.
I believe that all crazy (the really crazy) boyfriends/fiancés/husbands are given a handbook in high school…these are the abusers—both physically and mentally. They enjoy the power. They enjoy the rush. That’s the only logical explanation. To my knowledge, there have not been any revisions made to this book in hundreds of years. Read that again.
All crazy men are still operating off of the same tired methods that they have used for centuries. Why? Because those methods work. Why? I’m about to tell you.
The Handbook follows a few very simple, very effective rules. My hope is that if more women become aware of this Handbook, they will wake up and buck the system that most of us have fallen prey to at one time or another.
Rule #1: Must be Charming. Villains are more often than not, the most handsome guy in the room. They could sell ice to an Eskimo. “Smooth talker” and “Silver-tongued Devil” don’t even come close to the web these men can weave with their words. In a matter of minutes, they will have you eating out of the palm of their hand.
Rule #2: Slowly extricate you from your circle of friends and family. Soon, he will want to spend all of his time with you—and because he is a smooth talker, you will be only too happy to comply. After all, who wouldn’t want to spend every waking moment with a man who thinks you’re a princess?
Rule #3: Exert financial dominance. This can come in various different forms: some men straight up take paychecks, most do not move that fast. Most, just want to take care of their Princess, by not needing her to work, and therefore putting her on an allowance. Either way, access to funds are restricted. It’s hard to leave when you have no money.
Rule #4: Gaslighting. As the relationship continues, and his power grows, so does his need for that same power. He will start to play mind games. Go watch Sleeping With the Enemy, after the villain knocks his wife across the room, he immediately apologizes in such a way, as to let her know in no uncertain terms that it was her fault for his behavior. Gaslighting is making something false out to be true.
When the above mentioned tactics don’t work, violence follows. Violence. Obscene violence.
So, what does all of this have to do with my daughter and horror movies?
Well.
It’s not every day that a serial killing clown hides out in our storm drain or some possessed doll needs the attention of a particularly skilled priest—BUT—what can happen—and what DOES happen follows a lot more closely with the Sleeping With the Enemy plot line. Those plot twists sneak up on you. You don’t see them coming, and they are almost impossible to extricate yourself from. If you’re reading this, and you have daughters, THIS talk is as important as the Birds and the Bees. If you have sons, they need to hear this, too.
Women are to be handled with care.
We need to replace their Handbook with the Good Book.