Five Weeks Out

in Giggles on November 18, 2020

Well…we just about made it.  Thanksgiving is next week…which means we are FIVE WEEKS OUT from Christmas…and that leads us right into the much anticipated…

Season Finale of 2020.

I don’t know about y’all, but my money is on the White Walkers and Independence Day aliens for the win.

What. A. Train Wreck.Year.

As if the holidays weren’t stressful enough in a normal year—this year we’ve got to add crazy rules, shut-downs, the ever-popular politics AND just as a kicker, a global pandemic. All of that should mix nicely with Grandma’s jello salad.

So, how are we going to handle this season?

I have a couple of tips that you can take with a grain of salt (and a shot of tequila):

First, as with any family gathering, LEAVE POLITICS AND RELIGION ALONE. It’s a festive family gathering…dress for the occasion. Save your pink lives, red lives, blue lives, purple lives and elf lives matter shirts for another time.  Put on a smile and your Sunday best, and show up to Aunt Kathy’s house with your covered dish, and leave the hot-button topics at home.

Second, this COVID-thing.  If you are sick, are not feeling well, HAVE A FEVER, or have HAD a fever in the last 24-36 hours…please do your friends and family a favor—KEEP YOUR CONTAGIOUS SELF AT HOME. This is not a difficult concept to comprehend.  If you have a compromised immune system, y’all know who you are, you might want to stay home—perhaps one of your relatives can drop off viddles (that’s Southern, for ‘food’) at your door.  These are the same social norms and courtesies that we have been observing during EVERY COLD AND FLU SEASON since forever.  Use your brain.  If, you are uncomfortable being in groups of people, perhaps this is not your year to mingle about…because anxiousness  breeds more anxiety, and in a large group, Topic #1 might not be avoidable if there’s too much angst in the air.

Third, in-laws.  This is a staple in holiday stressors every year.  Whose house do we have Thanksgiving at?  Where are we going to be for Christmas?  I’ll tell you what my mother told me twenty years ago: She promised that my (then) new husband and our family would always be welcome at their house for every holiday, BUT, we would never be EXPECTED. WHY?  Jeff and I were starting our own family, and beginning our own traditions.  We needed time and space to build those.  That has been, hands down, the BEST advice my mother has ever given me.

Twenty years later, our house is open to anyone who wants or needs a place to go on Thanksgiving OR Christmas.  Last Christmas Eve, we had 25 people over for dinner…it was a madhouse!  Some of those folks were family, some were friends, some had no place to go—and would have otherwise been alone.  Our door is open.  This is a difficult concept for a lot of families to grasp.  I get that.

We ran into this ourselves this year.  My husband’s brother invited us over for Thanksgiving.  He’s never done that before.  We thanked him, and declined…promising to get together the next day or later in the weekend.  Jeff and don’t have too many more holidays with our kids, before I have to pass my mother’s advice on to them.

That’s super weird to say out loud.

But, it’s true.  We’re building, or trying to build, a foundation for our kids that they can turn around and build their own families on.  Families that are stable and solid.

Compromises can be made with in-laws and out-laws.  Those are conversations to be had in advance between you and your spouse.  Start thinking about the legacy you are building within your family…don’t focus too much on the political climate…the pandemic…the shut-downs….all of that will pass.

Your family is what matters.

Your family is what’s important…and whether or not your turkey is dry.

Good Luck!!