Paradise Lost and Found
in Giggles on January 26, 2019
I know I’ve been posting quite a bit about my memories from the past…perhaps I’m feeling nostalgic with the impending college departure of my oldest.
Maybe I’m having a midlife crisis. I did completely change my hair color this week…to the point that my children introduced themselves to me upon entering the house. Then try and trade-in a perfectly good vehicle for something small and red.
Maybe all of these thoughts have been rattling around in my head for ages, and I’ve only recently found the venue and the words to release them.
I am the oldest in my family. I am the oldest of my sisters, but also the oldest in the extended family of cousins/grandchildren. In a two months time, my youngest cousin will get married. His marriage will mark the end of an era, and the beginning of something new.
The Original Eight will be real adults.
That is such a strange concept for me to grasp. I vividly remember weekends out at Mimi and Papa’s house. I can hear the lapping of the water from our Memorial and Labor Day weekends at Lake Buchanan as it hit the retaining wall in front of the cabins. I can still feel the weight leave my hand as I tried desperately to beat any of the family elders in an intense game of shuffle board.
Unfortunately, those details only live in my memory. I haven’t touched the family shuffle board table in almost two decades. I won’t see Mimi and Papa ever again on this side of heaven. And the last time the OG Eight were together was about ten years ago…at a funeral.
Paradise Lost.
My kids have never known the family that I grew up in. That makes my heart ache. They don’t remember my grandparents; they were little more than babies when they died. They couldn’t pick most of my cousins out of a police line-up if they had to.
As much as that pains me, I’d like to think that Jeff and I have given our children just as many memories in our own special way, even though they are very different.
Different isn’t always bad…different is just that, different.
Paradise Found.
We have given our kids the freedom to be themselves, the freedom to soar, and the freedom to fail. They will remember how over-the-top I do Christmas. They will remember family dinners every night during the week. They will remember driving across the country in a beat up old RV. As they climb out of my car for morning drop off they will remember me screaming, “I LOVE YOU, LEARN SOMETHING, AND HAVE A GREAT DAY AT SCHOOL!”.
Yes, their childhood memories are different than mine, they may not be filled with loads of extended family, but they are filled with loads of love.
So, if you might be struggling with your own Paradise Lost, please allow me to offer you some comfort: One Paradise Lost often means that a Paradise Found is just around the corner.